so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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