dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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