Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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