I faked an abortion last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize