sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
