we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
