I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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