ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
