A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need water and some morals
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
