almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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