i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
