Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
