We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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