I got chris browned last night
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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