I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
