on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
