I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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