Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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