I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
