Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize