i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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