your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
