Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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