$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
