i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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