Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
