I'm lost and stupid without you.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
