I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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