And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
