That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize