I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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