why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
