the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
