I wish I could teleport
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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