If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Did I show you my penis last night?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
