I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
