I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
