Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
