hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
