Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
