can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
