marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
