dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
