my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
