she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
