Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
