very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
