are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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