So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
time to smoke my breakfast
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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