so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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