you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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