I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
