Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
