she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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