just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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