i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize