I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want nice things and good sex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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