In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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