i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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