I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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