he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
