my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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