Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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