I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
