dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
