Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
