btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
