He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
