I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
