those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
