No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
