I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
